STOCK MARKET JOKES

Sometimes we take finance and investing too seriously. Remember to step back and laugh once in awhile. The following jokes offer a lighter, more humorous view of the world

1) My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it's his!  

2) A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.

3) A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!

4) Q: Why did God create stock analysts?
    A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.

5) Stock markets went down today on the fears of a sharp fall.

Five Thumb rules for your Money

1)      How much (or what percentage of total investment) should I invest in equities?

100 minus your age = investment in Equities

Example: Your age is 28. So 100 – 28 = 72 % of your investments can be in Equity, balance Debt investment.  

2)      How much of my monthly take home salary should I save?

   

             Minimum of 15 to 20 % of your Monthly take home should be saved.

3)      How much loan I can take?

Maximum 10 % of your monthly take home should be your monthly loan installment.

4)      How much emergency cash should I have?

Minimum of 4 to 6 months expenses should be kept aside as emergency fund.

5)      How much Insurance Coverage should I have?

     Minimum of 5 to 10 times of your annual salary

Thanks & Regards
Vikram AG

10 Golden rules for Successful Trading in Stock Market

10 Golden rules for Successful Trading in Stock Market

1. Bet high enough to make meaningful profits when you win. 

2. Bet low enough so you are OK financially and psychologically when you lose. 

3.  If rule (1) and (2) don't overlap, don't trade.

4. Don't go adding a bunch of rules that don't work, Stop trading to avoid losses . 

Just so you have ten rules.

Courtesy : ED Seykota

Cheers

Vikram AG

WELCOME TO STOCK MARKET - A SMALL STORY TO LAUGH AT

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the
villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that
there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching
them. The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish,
the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now
buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started
catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people
started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the
supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a
monkey let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he
had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on
behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers.
Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I
will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you
can sell it to him for Rs50." The villagers squeezed up with all their
savings to buy the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant,
only monkeys everywhere!! !! ONLY MONKEYS !!!!!

WELCOME TO STOCK MARKET

5 Simple and Easy steps in selecting a good Mutual Fund Scheme

Hi,

We all spend lot of time figuring out to find good Mutual Funds which can give us good profits . In market we have Thousands of schemes floating and every Mutual Fund company says their scheme is best. How do you decide which one is Good. Read on.......

To make it simple , I will not explain the concepts used below :



1) Sharpe Ratio -  Should be as higher as possible. Higher the better.Generally expressed in numbers like 1, 1.3 etc . Should be more than one .

2) Standard Deviation - Medium to low is better. Generally expressed in percentage.

3) R -Squared - Should be more than 0.75 . Generally expressed as a range from 0 to 1

4)  Beta : Depends on what kind of investor you are: It is expressed in numbers like 1, 1.5 , 2 etc

 a) High risk taking investor  : High beta may suit you
 b) Low risk taker : Low beta may suit you.

5)  Alpha :  Higher is better. Should be more than Beta. Expressed in numbers.




With the above data, also check how the scheme has performed in terms of returns in the past.

Data relating to above concepts is available readily for all the schemes on various websites like valueresearchonline.com , mutualfundsindia.com etc etc

Before investing just check if the scheme which you wanted to invest matches the above parameters.

Thank you

Dealing with your Relationship Manager / Financial Advisor / Insurance agent

Hi,

In this article I will discuss on how you should deal with your Relationship manager or any sales person before you invest or buy any financial product.

1) First things first, always go by reference for selecting a Sales person for your investments. Never approach Company directly asking them to help you in investing.


2) Your investment advisor and sales person should never be same. Example you can take advice from your auditor or your friend, lets say your auditor advises you to invest in a mutual fund scheme of HDFC Mutual Fund (example). Now you directly approach HDFC and buy the particular product your Chartered Accountant or friend has advised. This is Important because in most of the cases the sales person makes you to buy the product on which he can earn maximum commission or incentives.


3) Clearly ask the sales person as to how much Commission or margin he or his company will get if you buy a product from him. For sure most of them will try to confuse you in terms of different Percentages and slabs. Stop them and ask exactly how much in terms of amount and not percentages. 


4) Always understand that each sales person selling investment products will have around 5 to 10 times of his salary as monthly revenue target. It means chances are he will push you a product with high margin to achieve his sales target.


In my next article, I shall explain 5 simple and easy really easy steps in selecting a good Mutual fund scheme.


Thanks & Regards
Vikram

FREE TIPS ON STOCKS - IS IT REALLY FREE ????

They say there is no FREE lunch on Wall street but brokers are always ready to give FREE advise on stocks . They call it Tips !!!!!

Very recently I got a call from one of the Stock broker who was very pleasing over the phone wanting me to open a Demat & trading account. Immediately when I said "Not interseted" he started to lure me with offers. One among them was FREE TIPS ON STOCKS.

He wanted me to test the Research ideas for ten days and open a account only if I was happy with the tips . Looks very intersting isn't it ??

So how does it all work, do you think they are very confident of there research ??? Not really.

It works like this:

Step 1)  Example around 10000 mobile numbers will be selected to send free tips. Two sets of 5000 each will be created.

step2)  For First set a research tip say "Buy ABC LTD at Rs 150, target 155"

Step 3) For second set the tip will be modified saying "sell ABC LTD at Rs150 ,target 145"

Step 4) So only three things can happen in market on any day , Mkts may go up or down or stay flat.

Step5) If mkts go up, people in first set will be impressed on the tip , and if mkts go down people in the second set are happy.

Step 6) So out of 10000 people who received Free tips through Sms , atleast 1 or 2 percent are happy and are tempted to open an account and trade , only to loose there money finally.

So never take any free tips from any brokers seriously.

If Stock brokers are (as they claim) very good in making money in the market for you, why cannot they do with there own money and become rich.


Cheers
Vikram